Listen

It is 11 pm and I am at my Grandmother's house in Palm Springs. My aunt and uncle are here, as well as my cousins Wyatt (5) and Walker (3). Everyone is asleep and it is quiet. And for the first time today, I realize I am listening. Truly listening to every noise. If you have a large or loud family (I am beyond lucky to have BOTH-- no i'm not being sarcastic i love it), you get pretty good at selective hearing. Sometimes too good. And now, it is quiet, and I can listen.

The clock is ticking. The dishwasher is running. The dryer is rumbling. A tiny, barely there fly is buzzing. My face. Grey's Anatomy is quietly on in the background, just loud enough for me to know which characters are talking but not loud enough for me to hear what they're saying. The keyboard is pretty loud as I type. Probably because I have a PC not a Mac. And then I hear that generic shuffling noise that as a kid you think is a burgler or monster but in actuality is just the cat or the air conditioning. I'm choosing to ignore it. I am too tired to deal with burglers and monsters.

I've been working on an article I've been writing about TOMS as a "Company Who Cares" for FYI magazine and my brain feels like spaghetti. So I'm writing osmething else. Something mindless, meaningless, and probably of no interest to anyone at all. Myself included. But I'm a firm believer that when your fingers start typing, you should let them.

Work is great. I have been struggling in all of my writing, both for TOMS and for myelf, to describe how it makes me feel. And I can't. One Day Without Shoes is coming up and it is (insert mystery word here). Chaotic, pandamonium, nuts, crazy, those are all words with a negatitive connotation. So those wont work. Exhilirating, mind-boggling, incredible, those are what I like to call "cop-out" words. Words writers use when they can't think of another word to convey what emotion they feel. So lately I've been using a lot of cop-outs, a lot of awesome's and amazing's, and while those all ring true, they are not THE word that describes the atmosphere of TOMS. Or my experience at TOMS. When I come up with THE word, I'll be sure to let everyone know. Or maybe I won't. Either way, sometimes I wonder if there even is a word that can describe it. Maybe that's what makes TOMS so special. I'm halfway through this internship (noooooooo!) and I am already a different person than when I started it. A spark, passion, drive, whatever as been ignited in me, and I finally feel... content. I know I am where I am supposed to be right now. And even when I'm in the midst of a really annoying case of writer's block, content is pretty damn good.

And now, I'm tired. So... goodnight.

Goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere.